Living Loudly

It’s been said that actions speak louder than words. Yet, I spent my college years studying how words can be crafted into amazing, beautiful stories. I discovered how each word has an enormous impact on the meaning of a sentence and in turn, how that affected the next sentence.

               Lately, I have realized that actions really do speak louder than words. I can say all the right things to make my wife happy, but I need to step up in my actions. Of course, sometimes I don’t say the right thing. But more often than not, my actions are in question. I don’t react in the right way when Sarah and I are having a conversation, or I don’t help her as much as I should as she is healing from childbirth. I have chosen myself plenty more times than I should have. I have focused on how I feel: whether I am hungry, thirsty, or tired. I chose to get myself food, water, and sleep before getting Sarah what she needs. I have failed in my duties as a husband often.

               Along with needing to work on my actions, there is another thought I have been contemplating. It is extremely easy to do life with Sarah and Eloise. I wake up each morning, help change diapers before I go to work, come home from work, make supper, and then we go to bed. I enjoy every second with them and can’t wait to see them when I get home from work. But it isn’t just about “doing life.” It is about helping Sarah and Eloise grow. Sarah and I have been married for two years now and it is so easy to go about each day as husband and wife without thinking about deeper issues. As a part of our vows, we agreed to help and guide each other to grow as human beings. I have been focusing on meaningless things in the everyday without remembering that part of our vows. I need to ask how I can make both Sarah and Eloise’s day better. I need to ask what I can do to make sure they know how much I love and care for them. I need to ask what I can do to make sure they grow, whether it be a few words or more importantly, an action.

               It isn’t easy to think about how every action one does effects multiple people. It worries me because I know I need to do better. I don’t handle situations correctly many times. I act quickly without thinking and after thinking about what I did for hours, I realize what I should have done. But by then, it was too late. Now, I am working on thinking about my actions and the consequences on others every day. Especially on my wife and daughter, who are the most affected by my actions. If I don’t commit good actions, I cannot help and guide them in a morally correct manner. It begins with myself, knowing who I am, and who I need to be to become the best husband and father that I can. It is a daily process, one I hope I can say changes me for the better so that I can be a positive difference-maker every day.

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